There's Something About Halle

Day 287:"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1 This scripture came to mind when I thought about Halle today as my Facebook friend's went on full blast with comments.

Overwhelmingly, the comments blame her and believe that she has emotional issues that need addressing. Her lover and Father of her child who is 9 years her junior said, " When he first met her she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen." Then over the years she got older and he started to look at younger women. Note to women who date younger men- one day he wakes up and you are not just the older woman, you are old.

I met Halle at a party Ted Turner and Jane Fonda were hosting for Hank Aaron's birthday when she was married to David Justice. I watched her stand afar off with a high school friend as David got all the attention. A I watched her, for some reason I felt very sorry for her. I thought at the time she taking a back seat and walking in his shadow. Why, so her star didn't outshine his. I also thought at the time that he was abusing her. It was just a feeling-discernment.

My hope for Halle today is that her baby girl will become the love of her life and her focus. That someone will witness to her so she can met the true and living God who can not only heal her but make her whole.

Had a great out door dinner with friends tonight and it was a really good ending to a strenuous workweek. I must say that I feel a warm sense of accomplishment. Although, it’s almost midnight and I still have four chapter's to read, a quiz and another list of task for my website.

When I think about the goodness of the Lord and how merciful he’s been to me, I find it hard to sit in judgment of other’s. For we have been admonished to judge not unless you be judged.

Bringing it Back to His Memory

Day 288: I’ve heard it said that God doesn’t mind if we remind Him of what He said about us. Like the Bereans, in the Bible I searched the scripture to find where it is actually written and could not find it anywhere. O God, please forgive me for reminding you today as if you would ever forget what you said about me.

As I walked the track getting in my 5 miles today I really was having some great conversation with God. Since I had been misinformed I took the liberty of reminding Him of what He said about me. I found myself crying out even during my prayer time for Him “not to forget about me.” As though He ever would. After almost two hours of walking and most of that spent talking to Him I heard as I walked off the track, “I enjoyed YOUR talk with me.”

God actually wanted me to know while I was reminding Him of promises He hadn’t forgot, I was doing all the talking. It’s like what we do with people we are intimate with everyday. We’re so busy talking most of the time we don’t know what the other person wanted to say. How gracious and kind is God to let me know I was having a one-way conversation with Him. Oh, how God loves us!

I managed to salvage my Mother’s Day promotion by the hair of my chinny-chin chin. But, it will still miss being aired on Frank Ski and Wanda's morning show. The good news is it will start running tomorrow and I hope folks will upload their video by the masses.

Several possibilities of new deals came to the forefront today and I’m very excited. My ZamZuu business suffered again and I only exposed one person to the business. Seems like I start and stop and it’s the end of the month so no me getting paid next week…drat’s. Got to keep it moving and pick it back up in the morning.

Well, it’s been a super productive day for me and I’m going to study the word and listen for God’s “still small voice” tonight.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but (only) one receives the prize? So run (your race) that you may lay hold (of the prize) and make it yours. 1 Corinthians 9:24

The Climb

Day 289: Okay, so I haven't walked in two day's and I knew I needed to hit the tracks even though it was 8:00 pm and would be dark soon. As I turned on my Slacker Radio to the Top Hits station I got this Miley Cyrus song. My godson Markie has me listening to Carrie Underwood and I can't believe how much I'm into her music. So, when I saw it was a Miley Cyrus song coming up I thought why not, give it a listen.

It so moved me and summed up everything I had literally cried out to God as I made my way around the track. It so moved my spirit that I only want to share this song with you tonight. I now it will bless you as it did me. Enjoy the Climb. which is the journey and stop focusing on what's pass the mountain. Stay in the moment!

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Mimi is on overload

Day 290: “"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed."-Mother Teresa. I missed posting on Tuesday just because I was so tired I forgot to hit upload.

Taking care of Skyy has been a labor of love and we have bonded even closer than we were if that is possible. It so reminds me of when my children were babies and you had to pull and all nighter. I’m pass tired and need some real sleep though because having Skyy in my bed results in very little. Mimi is ready for a break...

This is the last week of my Executive Leadership course and I’m very excited about it. All’s left to do is my reading-only 5 chapters and my quiz. I’ve finally stopped trying to do the math and what if on all the ungraded work. I will make an A even if its’ a low one so I’ve let go of the anxiety around it.

My mother’s day promotion for my client has been nothing but drama today. It’s such a good one, and everything that could happen to sabotage it has happened. But, as the client said, "that’s marketing."

The good news is that working on this project has reconnected me with some key resources and people. I made two wonderful reconnects that will prove fruitful for my team and me in the very near future. Again today, Adrienne reminded me of whom I use to be before I got religious and that’s a good thing.

Haven’t walked in tow days with sky home and I know it’s going to hurt when I get back out there. I heard Lady Gaga’s song “Telephone “ and you could have heard me scream. It’s what I’ve been thinking and the words were already laid out for me.

Hello, baby; you called
I can't hear a thing
I have got no service in the club you see, see
Wa-wa-what did you say?
Huh?; You're breaking up on me
Sorry; I cannot hear you
I'm kinda busy
K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry; I cannot hear you
I'm kinda busy

Stop callin', stop callin'; I don't wanna think anymore!; I left my head and my heart on the dance-floor
Stop callin'', stop callin; I don't wanna talk anymore!; I left my head and my heart on the dance-floor.

Stop calling, you know who you are.

For the Love of Skyy J.

Day 291: Skyy came home from spending the weekend with her aunt & uncle only to be filled with congestion. She was up most of the night as she was having difficulty breathing and couldn't stop coughing. Of course, she needed to stay home with Mimi so I could get her all better.

Surprisingly, I was able to work and write with her home today. All she wanted to do was watch Sesame Street, Barney and Yo Gabba Gabba and eat Popsicles. She's been getting major loving on today and I really feel bad for her and the teacher if she feels better to go back to school on tomorrow. She got lavished with love and hugs today.I really love this little girl and I can't wait to see what God will do through her. Everyday I tell her how briliant and smart she is...those word so go along with her fierce attitude.

Yet, in the mist of loving on her I found myself somewhere about to have a pity party for myself. I had leftover feelings that my paper I had turned in at 11:42 pm last night wasn't the A I wanted to make. In fact, I could not lose the feeling that I had missed critical opportunity to make that paper perfect depending on someone else to proof it for me. Of course, in hopes they would give some relevant input to help make it better.

It was a good lesson for me as I almost missed the posting time because I wanted validation from someone I felt was smarter than me. I'm so glad it happened because I need to believe in myself and do it my way and know that it will be good enough.

A friend asked me today where the Rita was who was bold and walked in authority that she had first met. She said, " I need you to find that Rita, because that's the one I want to work for." I could only tell her I do too.

Working on it.

Thinking & Thinking & Thinking

Day 292: "We are seldom happy with what we now have, but would go to pieces if we lost any part of it." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 I'm convinced I have spent to much time thinking today. Whatever is to be will.

Sometimes as we are talking to self we give self the wrong answer out of emotions. Never ever make the mistake of believing your own press. Get other people to see the vision and then they will buy right in.

Dreaming Big Dreams with my eyes Wide Open.

A Rainy Day In Georgia

Day 293: "People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost" ~H. Jackson Browne. The rain has been coming down today and then it stops and starts back up again. But I've learned to love the rain because it is a replenishing of the earth. So, rain on.

Worked on a paper all day today and the finishing touch for the micro-site that had to be finished for the client. I actually turned on "Sherlock Holmes" on Friday night and it was a nice diversion from work. So, I turned it back on again today for the third time, which may mean I like it. Yes, I watched the "September Issue" again today and even went through the latest issue of Vogue. I am so motivated by the sheer idea that God is going to allow me to have something grander than this...Yes Lord.

This week has been such a soul-searching can you Dream Big week. Working from home has its ups and downs depending on what day it is. With the rain and the total lock-down on pumping out the work I'm feeling a little stir crazy. Every time the rain broke I took Snowball for a walk. He's so funny as he doesn't want to go out and get his feet wet.

No matter this too shall pass when I walk into my full destiny...process.

A Few Good Friends

Day 294: “A wise man is strong, yes, a man of knowledge increases strength; for by wise counsel you will wage your own war, and in a multitude of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 24:5)

There is safety in the multitude of counselors, that plans can go awry without having other people to hash things out with, that war is waged by wise counsel with others, that learning is increased by listening to wise counsel, and that if you cease to listen to wise counsel – that you will start to stray from being able to acquire more knowledge in God.

As you enter a full surrendered walk with the Lord He will start to take people out of your life when you can't do it for yourself. He knows who you will need to have in your life to accomplish the destiny He placed inside of you before you were formed in your mother's womb.

It's funny when I look back over my life and I see the many folks who have come and gone for various reason's or seasons. This vision will either preach or make a good book.

As I think about it, Jesus had 12 disciple and at the end He really only has three Peter, James and John. His example for us was that you only need a few good friends.

Working for The Man

Day 295:"“Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstances."- Bruce Barton. Its wonderful to get up every morning and going to work for your self. As I thought about calling it quits for the day I realized I had actually been working about 16 hours.

No sooner had I started to write that fatigue jumped on me and I was falling off the side of the bed. I think that quality's as being just over tired and needing to get some balance. So, I thought I would lie down for 30 minutes and get a power nap at 11:00 pm..duh. Right! Woke up and it was another day and I did not even hit publish on my blog..i.e. two post today.

I've been walking twice a day for about 10 day's now and my body is probably in shock that I'm still up to it...me too. Yet, I'm getting stronger and I just dream with every lap I take around the track or the park. I'm dreaming big stuff because I know my heavenly Father owns everything in the earth realm and it's His good pleasure to give me the desires of my heart.

I can see a shifting of people out of my life during this season and its really okay for me. This has become interesting and I can sense that my circle needs to enlarge and simply change. I need to have more people around who challenge and push me to higher levels. I need that in my spiritual life as well, so I can experience the greater things of God.

Now that the Casnel's have joined my team and it's so exhilarating. Adriane designed my first website "true divas. com" and it was so cool back in 2001. I love have them back in my life and all of our creative juices a re flowing. We are really good together and they push me to be better. I push them to dream bigger and to start speaking life into how they want their life to be for them and their beautiful daughters.

Now it's not about my company but our company and I have my first two team members and I am feeling blessed. Their work ethic is equally math with mine and we don't stop until we have the finished product sealed.'

I love working for The Man....may He be glorified with all that I do.

The September Issue

"Day 296:"The greatest enemy to our progress is our last success."- Myles Monroe This week I have to write my final paper on Anna Wintour the Editor-in-Chief of Vogue magazine. In the meantime, I continue to watch the documentary of the making of the September Issue over and over again.

I think I'm really starting to feel my baby leap again. That's when destiny starts stirring up inside of you because it knows it will give birth. It has made me realize more than anything else I've ever seen that I've not began to dream Big.

I've been praying and asking God for a multi-million dollar idea or a huge benefactor. Have you ever felt like you were on the verge of something and you just don't what it is but it feels luminous.

Mastering the Art of Timing

Day 297: Never seem to be in a hurry- hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the timed, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.-48 Law of Power

This is the kind of stuff I'm learning in my graduate class and it is quite fascinating to say the least. At first, you think this content is so quirky and surly people aren't using these Laws. Yet, the more you read the more you start to see the great divide and how you can use these Laws in a good way. I'm learning so much.. I think I'm starting to like this. Just because I like it does not lessen the fact that the work is harddddddd.

Still trying to figure out how to balance the day that runs into the next day- everyday. Doing some good work and loving every minute of it. The exercise is working but it's still hard to eat healthy -everyday. My neighbor Haffa brought over fresh baked banana nut muffins and I ate one, okay two. Was that not so sweet?

Timing..It's my set time for Favor.

Women Who Are Stuck On Stupid

Day 298:"Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist."- Michael Levine. Last year I was paired with a wonderful little 11- year old who was shy and needy from the Big Brother Big Sister program. For this writing we will call her Sabrina to protect her identity.

Almost immediately I could tell that something was very wrong. One of the policies of BBBS was that you could not have the child sleep over before 90 days. We would break this rule about two months into the match as Sabrina would not get out of the car. She started having a meltdown as we would pull off her exist. By the time I reached her home she would be overcome with emotions and crying.

Eventually, I would confront her mother and it was all down hill from there. She was offended that I would discuss what goes on in her house and there was no reasoning with her. A few weeks after that initial conversation she closed our match with BBBS.

I saw it coming and tried to ready Sabrina for what might happen and even with that it was hard to say goodbye. However, it was not long before "baby girl" was calling me an I was reliving the drama all over again. Because she was not allowed to have any communications with me the calls were fewer and recently have become more frequent.

We are not suppose to be talking with each other as the mother has stated she is intimidated by my presence. I'm sure Sabrina is not totally innocent of not doing anything that would get her in trouble as last week's suspension makes three this year. What most disturbs me is that the abuse is so random and excessive. And I am totally against the boyfriend being allowed to put his hands on her. Why?

Not sure why this keeps coming back to me but I'm going to court on Monday to observe and see what happens. I want her to know she has someone on her side.

Tonight's call was one of those where you are left heart broken.

Shaking the Dust off my Sandles

Day 299: "And whoever will not receive you, when you go out of that city, shake off the very dust from your feet as a testimony against them." Luke 9:5.The scripture came to me when my father died and I had to deal with my brother and sister over his funeral and his will.

Today, it would come to mind again as I dealt with my niece who had some very harsh words for her mother and at the end of the day all of us. For the last couple of year's I've become very aware of just how much of other people's stuff I take own. I mean literally take on and own it as my own.

I was very proud of myself, as I placed my niece on the shelf with several other family member's who are distractions for where I'm going. This journey I'm on it so amazing that it's really hard to describe how I feel about it all. I can't tell it all because I'm saving some details for the pages of my book. What I can tell you is this, when you get free from people and what they think about you, need from you, and want from you...you're free indeed.

As I was retelling the unpleasant conversation I'd had with my niece to her mother my older sister it was in the presence of my ex-husband. I told my sister her daughter was now on a shelf with our siblings and my ex said, " tell her your ex husband is on that shelf because she won't remarry him." I looked at him in utter shock and unbelief. I can tell you this, they could melt him down and pour him on me and he would not stick. He has never in the 14 years we've been divorced ever asked me to forgive him or say he was sorry. I was stunned and repeated it to me sister like a dofus and kept talking. Wow...really.

I told both my son and daughter and they both just looked at me in unbelief, Then the first born son said, "that is so over." The daughter never did comment. What a strange day.

So, back to the niece. I had decided that wherever God was taking me I was going to make sure my nice and her kids came along. A while ago, I talked about trying to take people with you through the new door you were going through who do not fit. This is a prime example of your word coming back to bite you.

Doesn't mean I love her any less but that's dust I just shook off my sandals. 66 days of blogging..6+6 = 12 and 12 is the number of foundtion. I'm building a new foundation for ACT 2 of my life. God said, "your latter day's would be bette than your former day and you will be blessed more than you ould ask."

Crying Silent Tears

Day 300: “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” -Seneca. My body hurts so very bad and everything about it aches from head to toe.

I walked the 25 minute to the gym today pushing my granddaughter Skyy's Bob stroller in tow. It was not a hard walk at all and it was delightful watching all the people going to the Dogwood festival speak and ahhhh over baby girl. Her Mom had been given the day to hang out with her friend's for a birthday celebration. Skyy was not fund of the daycare at LA Fitness but I was hopeful that she would at least let me get in 45 minutes on the treadmill.

We checked in and the lady that runs the daycare( I know I should know her name)was happy to see Skyler...not my baby's name. So, of to the treadmill I went and did my body go into shock. I was sweating and almost doing a victory day because I was actually sweating. For me it meant,my metabolism was starting to kick in and get in alignment...Yes.

The walk back home was a little harder as the incline was a butt kicker and I was suddenly in need of some hot eater on my body. Got Skyy feed and instead of getting a much needed nap with her I worked on my Business Plan Thesis.By the time she was up for her nap I was walking like a zombie as my muscles were starting tighten up. Thee treadmill had shocked my body because I was not walking the park. Oh, I cried silent tears.

I know all of this is for my good. It's been seven days in a row of working out and I'm proud of me...but I hurt. I do feel good about what I've been able to make happen this week and I have to keep pushing myself for more discipline. It's good but it is not good enough...got to go higher.

It might seem like I'm putting myself down or not celebrating my victories but I'm really not. In the past when I started to see the pounds and inches coming off,I'd start celebrating and then revert back to the old habits.

Well failing is not an options this time around as I am in it to win it. I have got to do everything I'm suppose to do in this season because it's my time. Tomorrow I give the body a rest and then Monday I think I will hit the gym and the weights. It's three weeks until I have dinner with Pastor Marvin Winans and Tyler Perry. I want to be looking fly.

It's A Kairos Moment

Day 301: Almost every living soul has moments of Kairos - instances where a person is so dramatically overwhelmed with life events that time stands still and is no long relevant. When the things of common, normal life cease, and a person's focus is directed on one defining, specific, notable and special moment that has deep significance to him, as life itself is put on hold, and the drama of Kairos unfold

The Greek language has a couple of words that mean, "Time." The first is most familiar—Chronos. It means the chronology of days, governed by the carefully calculated earths' sweep around the sun. God himself ordained this measurement of days on the fourth day of Creation, spinning the heavenly lights "for seasons, and for days and years."

But another word for time is also used in the New Testament—Kairos. This speaks more to specific, God-ordained times throughout history, sometimes called the "right time" or "appointed season" (Titus 1:3). Kairos is God's dimension—one not marked by the past, the present, or the future.

When Jesus came, it was a fulfillment of promises past, a cosmic collision of the sacred and secular. It was an intersection of the holy will of God and the stubborn ways of man. It was a perfect moment. John the Baptist said in Mark 1:15 that "time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand."
This godly Kairos pierced its way into creation at just the right time, slicing through chronos with a cry of a baby in a manger.

The cross was another Kairos moment. Romans 5:6 says, "For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly."

Kairos moments then—and now—allow us to get a glimpse of the "other side." We peek around the corner at eternity. We actually glimpse how God works.

We should always live our days looking for those moments, those inexplicable times when His will and his way intersect with our daily walks.

And they can happen anytime! A friend calls you out of the blue to give a good word. Tonight, my friend Fray called and shared a Kairos moment that happened to him on yesterday. He was used by God to change the life of a young homeless man that reunited him from the back of a church parking lot on yesterday, to the arms of his family in Maryland today.

As I listened I could hear the humility and brokenness in his spirit to be able to imagine that God has worked through him in such a supernatural way. To God be the glory. The word says, we should always have a word in season, as you never know when you might be entertaining angels.

This post is mostly about spiritual things to night because it’s so important that we are able like the tribe of Issachar to discern the season and times. We are living in a Kairos moment and the door is open for us to walk in all that we have ordained to do. It’s time to start our business, get promoted, write the book, buy the new home, go to college, go back to college, get healthy, get in shape. Its just time to do it for I decree it is our “set time for favor.

Putting My Back into It

Day 302: "There will always be dreams grander or humbler than your own, but there will never be a dream exactly like your own... for you are unique and more wondrous than you know!"—Linda Staten .For the last couple of months I have rarely looked at any television. Mostly, it has become reality television takeover and such a bore.

However, tonight I decided to turn it on while I was working and my most favorite show Project Runway was on and so I had to watch. I know a lot of the drama is encouraged but I love the fashion and seeing these people living out their dreams. It’ the show before the finale and seeing what everyone goes through to give voice to their designs is what draws me to the show.

Today, Charles my creative director sent me a mock up of my marketing sight and it just made me so happy. I’m finally starting to see my own brad get a voice and I can feel my baby starting to leap again. I can feel it when I hit the track in the morning and push to get that last mile done and when I hit the park in the evening. I believe if you do anything for 21 day’s you’re hooked. So, I’m pushing myself to exercise for 21 day’s straight to see if it will become a lifestyle.

I’m not weighing in until May 5th, but hopefully I will see a dress size drop before then. While I don’t want to get on the scales I do want to see some visible change. Tomorrow I start hitting the gym with the weights and that will take some real will power.

I’m going to knock off the last five chapters of my reading and maybe even do the quiz tonight. I spent the day looking for venues for a major artist promotion and I’m working off of all the energy-derived form the excitement of it all.

Did I say I love my MacBook Pro…yes I do. This blog was started to help me among other things fall in love with me. I am truly learning new things about myself as I evolve daily in faith and perseverance.

A Great Change is coming over me....

Grace Grace and more Grace

Day 303: Today my grades were posted and I received two A’s so I was very pleased with that, especially after my entire drama around my paper. Tonight, I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open so my post will be very, very short.

I have become popular of late as my email Inbox is so full each day. I can’t seem to get them all read before the sun shuts down. Which by the way was my posture when I was in corporate. Body saying it’s craving some rest and some sleep, ….I’m being obedient.

Lord, I thank you for your grace and mercy today....it was a very good day.

Good night me….

Something's Moving & Something's Changing

Day 304: Day 304:"There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles. - Stephen Covey. I decided that I wanted to change the way I feel about morning and 3-miles at night. It is not easy because I did not put this weigh on overnight but I am committed to this lifestyle change.

As I walk around the park each day I’m observing so many different behaviors and drawing stories for the magazine by people watching. The Dogwood Festival starts on this Friday and I'm very excited. You won’t be able to find a place to park so don’t even think about coming to my house this weekend. Also, the infamous “Freaknik” a crazy black college spring break- shut the streets down is here as well.

According to our newly elected Mayor Kasim Reed, there won't be any stopping of cars in the middle of our streets,highways and getting out to dance and be seen. That is not the kind of scene we want for our city or our kids. I know they are trying to bring back the Spring Break of old but it’s simply not going to happen in Atlanta again. I hope the kids have a great time in our city and are safe.

I will have to go to the gym for the balance of the week, as it will be hard to walk the park with so many vendor booths set up. I’m ready to start working on my Michelle Obama arms anyway.

I really like my Executive Leadership professor and I will get an A out of this course. Now that the course work is pretty much under control I’ve got to focus on my profit making business. Just reviewed some new logos for RLO Marketing & Publishing Group…looking good. Got to make some money while we’re building to be able to raise the capital for Rita O magazine.

I want to be thin overnight and I want and angel investor right now so I can get busy with photo shoots, hiring writers, debating with my editors on rich content and all that goes into putting together a superior product.

*Note to self- Everything at His appointed Time…keep focused and moving forward.

Keeping the Dream Alive

We've Got The Power

Day 305: "The best way to predict your future is to create it."- Unknown Everything we need to live our best life is inside of us. We already have the talent and gifts needed to be that person we say we are destined to be.

I love the expression you can’t make money and excuses at the same time. I am being stretched in more ways than you can imagine. First, the workload in graduate school has me pulling all nighters. It’s only the second week and I’m still a little overwhelmed by it all. Of course, this is temporary as I actually love the way it challenges my thoughts…. but admittedly this is not the best time for me to have done this.

So, now I visualize myself walking across the stage with honors. I’m praying for a Big Idea that will propel me into having the cash flow to start my magazine. But, in the meantime the team is working on those things we can make happen with what we have.

All of a sudden there seem to be so many moving parts working in my life. I know it’s a new place for me and I ‘m pushing through until I get to the prize. I read an article the other day, that talked about the plight of the black woman as it relates to finding a man to marry. It talked about the incarceration of black men and how those statics leave single black women (like me) in a not so perfect position.

It stated that 96% of all black marriages are to black men. So, basically we don’t marry outside of our race. To sum it up, black women and especially those who are educated and doing well for themselves economically have a very slim chance of marrying a black man. Wow…not to worry my husband will be an anointed man of God, who will love me the way God loves in the natural, and be a Big-Baller-Shot caller. Those are the pre-requisite and he can come in any color God chooses. I am however leaning towards a black Frenchman…for real now.

Front Row Seats

Day 306: "Let every man or woman here, if you never hear me again, remember this, that if you wish to be great at all, you must begin where you are and with what you are. He who would be great anywhere must first be great in his own Philadelphia."-Russel H. Conwell

I saw The September Issue today and I must tell you it was so fabulous for me. It lit a fire under me for my own magazine and it let me know just how small my dreams are. Seeing what goes in to putting together this national publication was so eye opening for me. Watching the magazine come to life after months of work and rework, passion and even dictatorship left me wanting more.

Anna Wintour is the most powerful woman in the fashion industry. She actually turned Fashion Week in Milan on it’s heels when she announced she would only be staying four-days versus the entire week. She puts out a magazine that creates fantasy for women to wish for and all of her models are skinny. Yet, she makes no apologies for what she has created and who she is.

I tried to use her as my example of a leader in my Executive leadership course but I don’t think she’s going to fly. Being the most powerful force in fashion may make you successful but not necessarily a leader.

Tonight my creative designer Charles started playing around with covers for my magazine and I am having so much fun with this. The creative process of going back and forth until you get something you love is so cool. Of course, I’m questioning everything I thought I new after seeing The September Issue.

I even got my 3-mile walk in tonight and I’m back on my workout plan to be cute by Mother’s Day. Taking my granddaughter to the park every evening is really getting to be a hoot. She falls out every time I tell her it’s time to leave the playground. I truly believe she is going to be an actress.

Peace is Moving from Side to Side

Day 307: "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.- Matthew 17:20. What the disciples didn't realize was tat the rocking from side to side was the Peace. And the moment they started to let fear over take them God told Peace to be still.

Sometimes when we are going through our valley experiences we have to know that God is trusting us with trouble. The tribe of Issachar has the ability to discern the season and the times. I pray daily for the spirit of discernment so that I may know the season an the times we are moving in.

I truly believe that I'm moving in a Kairos moment an that God is about to blow my mind and I'm super excited. If you think about it, even when you think you've dreamt big dreams they are not to big for God.

Getting myself organized and ahead of the game on this Executive Leadership course because I've got to be ready to move when those new doors open. I've had enough training and garnered experience from some of the best leaders. I'm ready to move my bloodline and leave legacy for my children's children's children.

It's time to get moving and put all the word that's in me into ACTION.

Don't believe what you see, see what you believe.

Living Ain't Easy

Day 308: When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

"Don't Quit," Author Unknown

Some day's you just have to remind yourself that everyday will not go the way you planned it. I remembered to tell myself that everyday I get new mercies and a opportunity to start right from where I am.

My new favorite CD is Nicole and David Benion Heaven on Earth and it moves my spirit to a place of amazing worship. When I think about how much the Father loves me it washes all of the heartache away.

I've has an great week of working out, getting acclimated into school and falling in love with me. Believe me when I tell you none of this week has been easy, but if it had been anyone could have done it.

Thank you for choosing me Lord, when you could have chosen anyone else.

Oh, The J O U R N E Y!

Day 309:" God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way." -Anonymous. It's about 1:35 am and I missed posting before 12:00 am on Thursday. Why, you may ask? Because, I was having a meltdown as my extended assignment zip file would not upload my work.....oh my goodness.

One of my new friend's from church Mike tried for over 25 minutes to help me until my time ran out. As I was going through the process, I was literally stressed out and I could feel it in my neck. About 12:15 am I gave up the ghost as there wasn't a thing else I could do. Will my professor accept the work when technical support sees that I tried to upload at 11:42- maybe or maybe not? The bottom line is this first week has been nothing short of incredible as everything thing I think I know has been challenged. This project counts as 6% of my grade for the week and you would think by my reaction it was the whole 100%.

I know you're thinking why was I uploading my work so late anyway? Well, I spent hours researching and doing my Executive Leadership Thesis statement on Apple's Steve Job. A friend clarified that my thesis should be on someone who would not be your usual suspect. I thought that was an important nugget and begin researching my new subject Tyler Perry. As my friend began to ask me questions about building my case I was so on brain freeze. Oh, the Journey.

Since I operate in a spirit of excellence, I'm pulling an all-nighter or at least and as long as my body will allow me to stay up nighter. Next week's work has been posted for a week and I'm going to try my very best to get this work completed by Sunday. Even though I had technical difficulties tonight I'm so much more comfortable and proficient with the MacBook Pro.

I don't even know how Tiger Wood's did at the Master's today. Tried to position myself to get some real reading glasses today but no one told me they would be like $500. I thought they could not possible be true for frames I didn't even like. Tomorrow I will venture out and try it again since I'm armed with information. If eyeglasses really cost that much I will surly get frames I love. Is that so hypocritical when I've spent over $200 for a pair of sunglasses...it's all vanity.

I've settled in my mind and spirit to get out of critical mode and get settled into enjoying all of this new experience. Hello Change. JOURNEY.

Going Higher Requires Growth

Day 310: "This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."- Anonymous

I had such an amazing day as I watched the manifestation of some of the things I was believing God for and spoke last night come to pass. I was running around my house praising God for His faithfulness. My Godson Mark has been asked to sing on the praise team for Benny Hinn 's miracle crusades for the rest of his cosmetic tour. I' m so in awe of God. It just goes to show, that you can't box God in, you don't ever know how He will show up and who He will use.

Third day of walking twice a day and getting the body in shape and I feel so pumped. I'm taking it slow though because I know how I will get distracted. I'm working on a plan to balance all of this out and I'm eating healthy so far for these three days. Believe me when I tell you I am cheering me on. I even have my daughter and granddaughter out with me in the evenings. Of course, my granddaughter is all about the playground . I realize since we started walking how important it is for us to have her outdoors.

I'm in graduate school because I have a burning desire for learning and I need to stay on the cutting edge of what's happening in the business arena. If you want to go higher and experience the length, depth, breadth and height of His love it comes through maturity. Everything you ever wanted to know about life or where you are now you can find in His brain on paper- His word.

Everything about me is changing for the BEST.

What Did He Say About You in The Light?

Day 311: "One day at a time- this Is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled by the future, for it has not yet come." Everyday, I declare over my life that "It is my set time for favor." Tonight, my pastor Bishop Long admonished us to remember what God said about us in the light, so when we go through the darkness the remembrance of it will pull us through.

That jumped up in my spirit as a word and I came home and reflected on what that meant to me. It tells me that no matter what it looks like as we are going through our process ( He knows He could not give it to me all at on time) to live out our destiny to -keep the promise alive. You can't get stuck on what you see in the natural or even what other people say or think. This is a season to know that you know that you know.

I truly believe this is a season of Divine appointments and supernatural manifestation of those things that you have been believing for. I wake up now every morning with great expectations of what me an my partner (Jesus Christ) are going to do today. I don't always hit the mark but everyday I get up determined to keep it moving.

Trouble, struggles and challenges are going to come if you keep living . The beauty is remembering what you believed when you were on top of the mountain. So, when you have to do your valley experience you won't quit. Just continue to look towards the heavens' from which your help come .For HE is a very present help and the lifter of my head. I am so full of expectations and everyday I'm showing up and making a demand on the anointing.

Getting a reprieve on my two missed assignments really made me feel better about school and I'm reworking my goals and objectives to include some REST. I have such a fresh new zeal and on my second day of two 3 mile walks a day.

I hurt to feel good.

I Am A Work In Progress

Day 312: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is
our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most...We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson, American author and lecturer

I awoke today exhausted from the past three day's but knew I needed to push myself to move forward. I have been trying to shrug off the feeling of failure for not posting two of my assignments in time for my first week of class..let it go, let it go. I had to read three chapters each for my Executive Leadership course from, " Developing the Leader Within You " by one of my most favorite authors, John c. Maxwell and the other one was " The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene.

I'm have been a John Maxwell fan for over 10 years and we're actually reading from his "Failing Forward" book each morning on the Inspirational Morning Vitamin for my ZamZuu business. "The 48 Laws of Power" was introduced to me several year's ago by my son as he was fascinated by the information. When I was at my last position he tried to instill in me the First Law-Never Outshine The Master." I understood the law but was never able to totally make the transition of denying who I was so someone else could feel better about themselves.

Had I been able to abide by Law 1- and make my superior appear more brilliant than they were it states that I would attain the heights of power. I didn't abide by Law 1 and decided I was tired of standing in someone else's shadow so they could feel good about who they were. Law 2 states, that you should Never Put Too Much Trust In Friends, you should Learn How To use Enemies. I agree with this in theory but again have not been able to apply this to my thinking.

I committed myself to doing cardio twice a this week and walked 3- miles in this morning and another 3 miles tonight. One day down and counting

All Things Good

Day 312: "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God and knoweth God ... Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us."

~1 John 4:7, 11-12~

As a Christian, I of course celebrated the day in worship with family and friends. Sunrise Service at 6:00 am was wonderful and I was full of great expectations.

Spent the balance of the night doing homework which I must confess really was challenging. My books didn’t arrive and I had to scramble to get the reading done. I actually missed completing two of the assignments. This sent me over the deep end for a couple of hours because I wanted to make a good first impression. So, my first week was not to great of a start but tomorrow, tomorrow.

I've got to get a Real plan now...why did y'all allow my old behind to go to grad school? Why in the world am I doing this at this point in my life? It was never for the degree but for the curriculum but even that stilt makes me question my sanity. You'd have to see the workload to understand my sense of how can I make all of this work. New business, side business, It is all good though and I will take this week which is Spring Break to regroup and develop a plan of actions. Everyone reading this please pray for me to master this work with excellence.

I wrote most of this lat night and was to exhausted to post it so you will see two post on the same day. I'm operating on seven hours of sleep in the past two days. Working on a better plan for order in all area's of my life. All and all is really was a Good Day.

He Is Risen

Day 313-

Amazed By His GRACE

Day 314-Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

" For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life."

I attended the Benny Hinn Anointing service today and I was very blessed for attendng. My God son Mark was selected to sing on the praise team and it was evident God is releasing a new sound in the earth realm. This day was all about Him and I intend to stay in His glory as long as I can.

The church ( us the saints) are God's gift to His son.

It Was All About Me Today

Day 315: Peacefulness is an inner sense of calm - it comes from becoming still in order to reflect and meditate on our inner wisdom and receive answers. A peaceful heart is one that is free from worry and trouble. It's becoming quiet so we can look at things quietly so we can more clearly understand them and thus come up with creative solutions. It is learning to live in the present.

As soon as I got off an early morning call with my client I knew I needed to turn my attention on me. I made a light healthy breakfast, got some emails out and headed for Piedmont Park for a 3 mile walk.( had great praise & worship) I spent seven hours straight on my computer yesterday getting a proposal out and I woke up with my eyes hurting.

I've been burning the midnight oil into the wee hours of the morning and my body was not happy with me once again. I’ve got a short term goal in sight and I want to look fabulous when I take a road trip next month. As well, I have my very first paying speaking engagement and I’m very psyched about it.

My new Mac Book Pro is so refreshing and I have so much to learn before I am proficient in using it.Didn't get through orientation though and will have to be on it tomorrow. I'm going to Benny Hinn's anointing service tomorrow and I can't wait to see what the Lord will do. Then on Saturday, I'm going to Passion City which I hear is totally amazing.

This is a Holy weekend and I want to stay in a place of gratefulness and humility as we remember the price our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ paid for us.

50 Straight Days of blogging- wow. Jubilee!